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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Crumbs on the floor bring me to prayer

I spent the good part of the afternoon yesterday cleaning the kitchen while my two boys napped. Gave the counters a good wipe down and even swept the floor. Which this task has become even more important lately as now my 7 month old is mobile and will often crawl his way to the kitchen. So, as we were eating dinner last night, my two year old, being the parrot that 2 year olds are, was doing as daddy did and was crushing his crackers with his hands to put them in his soup. (Note Jacob had no soup, but he was imitating Daddy.) As I was cleaning up after dinner, I found the pile of cracker crumbs on the floor from Jacob's demonstration and was frustrated, because I JUST SWEPT the floor...(moms, you understand, right?! ) But, then I quickly stopped myself....I get to clean the crumbs off the floor because I have a son and he is here!

God has recently placed two very special families in my life...and we all have something in common....we all have two boys...we all have lost a child...the difference is...their youngest boys, Christian and Logan, are in heaven and mine is still on earth.

I have written before about the organization that I volunteer for called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (also know as NILMDTS). It is an organization that does remembrance photography for families who have lost or will lose a child to illness or stillborn. I got involved after we lost our daughter Therese Marie to a miscarriage and wanted to be able to honor her through this ministry. I have only done two sessions on my own so far, and it is amazing how God has orchestrated them so perfectly. I am so honored that families would invite a stranger into such intimate moments with their family, and I am so grateful that we are able to provide them with the gift of images of their child to have forever.

I have connected with both of the moms from the sessions that I have done, and am honored to call them friends now and I hope they could feel the same way. My heart aches for them as I rock my son to sleep knowing they long to have their child fall asleep in their arms. I pray for their little ones as I hold my crying baby, because I know they would give anything to hold their son one more time. I know God gives them special graces to get through each day, but that doesn't make them miss their child any less.

Brian and I went to the funeral for little Logan this past weekend and I cried with them feeling just a sliver of their pain. I couldn't wait to get home and hold my boys...and I cried more knowing that Jennifer will longingly wait to hold her son in Heaven.

I know I can't take away their pain...but I want to thank them for sharing their life, and their son's with me so that I can appreciate my children more and more each day. It is such a reminder that we all need...life is short....cherish every moment. Life is too short to get caught up in the frustrating details....instead count your blessings!

So, Erin and Jennifer I count you as blessings...it was your sons and my daughter that brought us together...and as we know we would do anything to bring those children back to our arms on this earth, we rejoice in the hope that God gives us that we will see and hold them again and thank God for bringing good out of all situations. It brings me joy to think that they are all playing together in heaven as Chase, Landon and Jacob play together here.

Know that I think of you and pray for you as I clean up the crumbs on the floor!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rachael,
I am so thankful for you and NILMDTS for taking such wonderful pictures that we will cherish forever.

Jennifer

Anonymous said...

The truth that granite is actually a prized type of material to make use of as kitchen countertops basically means that you are also putting a high value and investment on your property. In other words, it basically increases the household value, and this is especially an asset if you decide to sell your possession.

Erin said...

Oh Rachael, this is beautiful. I am so thankful for our friendship. You are such a blessing to me and will be to anyone you might encounter through NILMDTS...:)
Erin

Anonymous said...

thank you for all you have done for jason and jennifer.